i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
