where am i from again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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