Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
two words...techno handjob
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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