Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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