Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
