It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
This house was built for laser tag.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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