all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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