I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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