I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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