Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
