Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize