I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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