Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
