Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
