Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize