Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize