That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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