she woke up with a sticky ear
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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