Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
