bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
