I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize