i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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