Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
