Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize