you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
