if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
