I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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