did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
