Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
