I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Pooping to opera.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
