I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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