No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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