Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
