thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
