My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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