Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
