As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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