im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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