he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
