redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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