butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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