super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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