Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
