I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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