I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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