My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
