for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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