From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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