Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
