let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
