why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
