I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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