We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize