First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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