A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
