Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Everyone says I win the strip club
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
