Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
