oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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