i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize