just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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