no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
