Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
