yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
