so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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