bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
