Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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