To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
