Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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